37.5 weeks of pregnancy

Kerry and I were unimaginably lucky to get pregnant after our first IUI through Reproductive Medical Associates (RMA). They have offices in NY, NJ, and PA. I can't say enough good things about them. Their #1 goal is to help you make a healthy baby. Only down-side- It's factory-like and can be found impersonal (this worked for me, since I tend to not like doctors). I attribute  my 1st timer's luck to them 110%. They're open 365 days a year at 6am. (Yes, even Sundays and ALL major holidays). They don't mess around and they really follow the science of all things fertility. Ok, enough about RMA.

We found out we were pregnant April 30th last year after using about 8 pregnancy tests. Yes 8, you can never be too sure.  Our blood test confirmed we were pregnant on May 3rd and I was given the expected due date of January 7, 2012. And so the adventure begins!

Kerry seemed to go through more pregnancy symptoms during my 1st trimester than me. She dealt with nausea & weight gain. I dealt with nothing. In fact, I questioned being pregnant till about 6 weeks. At 6 weeks along we went in to see the "gestational sac." The doctor had seen 2! Yep, you got it, two babies, twins. For 2 weeks our mind spun with everything related to twins, from furniture, to breastfeeding, to diapers, to double strollers, and more. One very minor issue I had at this time was extreme fatigue. After mentioning it to RMA during this appointment they decided to run some blood work. It turned out I was dealing with a thyroid issue. After being placed on thyroid medicine, my energy returned in about a week. It was wonderful. My boobs however became so sensitive during weeks 6-7 that even the shower pressure hurt. Luckily, that didn't last long. We left with an appointment scheduled for 2 weeks later.

Within these 2 weeks I lost my grandmother. The crazy & loving grandma that made every one's life more lively. I lived with her my entire life up until 3 months before Jack was conceived. Kerry took an iPhone video of us showing her the 2 sacs at her birthday lunch that we took her to. She rarely cried, if ever... but cried when we showed her, "look grandma, it's two!" Her reaction was priceless and plays over in head almost daily. What I would give to have one more day with her.

At 8 weeks we returned to RMA in hopes to hear 2 beautiful heartbeats. The doctor found one sac that looked completely empty. Sad and shocked, we then look over at the screen and see the 2nd sac with the cutest little seahorse-looking baby in it. Hearing his heartbeat for the first time was one of the most beautiful sounds I ever listened to. We left feeling extremely bittersweet. We had now "graduated" to seeing our midwives. It was called vanished twin syndrome (VTS) and is actually quite common. Who knows... maybe grandma took one little baby to be with her.

My 1st trimester was wonderful, health wise... Emotionally, it was rough.

Enter 2nd trimester. We went on a babymoon/1 year wedding anniversary vacation to Disneyworld when I was 14 weeks! It is our MOST FAVORITE place in the world. We scheduled a gender determination ultrasound in Orlando at a very reputable 3D imaging place. We landed in Orlando at 10am and was at the ultrasound place by 1pm the same day. Talk about not being able to wait!!! Making it to 14 weeks 3 days felt like an eternity! When asked by the sonographer if we had names by we told him about Jack. He then began typing on the screen "Jack Maxwell." We cried, smiled, and laughed. How awesome was it to have a boy that we had already chosen to honor our grandfathers by using their name. (We had no significance in regards to a girl's name, my grandma's name was Phyllis and I was NOT going to do that to her!) I should also mention that I desperately wanted a girl... since I was very very little. Never imagined myself having a boy. Maybe Kerry will give me a girl in a few years, :) I am however very very happy and in love with my little boy. He melts my heart into pieces! The 2nd trimester also brought on the oh so wonderful acid reflux. I lived on Zantac! I also went through about 3 weeks of migraines - not fun. Other than that... still no weight gain and nothing else exciting. We registered, emptied our guest room, enjoyed the summer, painted the baby's room, and relaxed together before the fall school semester began.

Oh Hello 3rd trimester. I finally started to show and started to gain (38lbs by the time he arrived!). School work (3 graduate courses) and organizing the house/baby's room kept me nice a busy - yet not too busy. I also babysat for an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon for school-aged children from week 21-34. We enrolled in the Bradley method birthing course and started attending those in September. Things were moving quickly! I started feeling uncomfortable around week 29-30 but had trouble sleeping since week 25. I would wake up every night around 2-3am and remain wide awake for at least 1.5-3 hours. My hips ached like crazy and rolling over in bed became a chore. A serious chore! The end of the semester school work was creeping up on me (I'm the biggest constructive procrastinator out there) but I managed to get it all done. We had an incredible baby shower when I was 31 weeks along - so awesome to see everyone, not to mention the cute little things everyone bought for Jack. I finished school when I was 35 weeks pregnant -  thank goodness! Kerry's classes went right up to the last day of the semester. Kerry constantly told Jack that he had to wait for his mommy to be done with school before he could come. I, however, constantly told him that he had to wait till after my birthday and the holidays to come. Well I guess you can figure out who he decided to listen to? Yep, Kerry.

Kerry took her last final on Tuesday, December 19th. She got home from school around 6:30pm - we were so excited that she had finished the semester. After having a wonderful evening together, my water broke at 1:37am, December 20th. From now on, I think Kerry should be the disciplinarian, Jack already decided who he would listen to when inside...

The birth of our son, Jack Maxwell Smith - 12.22.11

My wife and I had decided on taking the Bradley Method birthing course. Yes I know it kind of sucks that it is referred to as "Husband-Coached Birthing," but, our instructor was very open to us and referred to every one's husband, boyfriend, or wife (like us!) as partner. It was an 8 week course, about 3 hours each class and super informative. We watched videos, chatted, listened to a new mom share her birth, had a workbook, and practiced relaxation techniques. I have to say... we didn't love it but we also didn't hate it. There were 7 other couples in the class with us each week and after the birth of our children, we emailed each other sharing our experience. Oh and we took the course in hopes to have a natural unmedicated childbirth - I giggle inside now with the thought of that. 


In preparation of our dear baby boy, here are some pictures:

 "Best Little Present"- FOR SURE!

 Top is Kerry's grandpa Jack, Bottom is my Pop Pop Max. Hence.. Jack Maxwell

 We now have a chair next to the glider so we both can be together with Jack

 He LOVES his monkey mobile

The TV is there for the Mommas! :D


We completed his room when I was 32-33 weeks. It would have been sooner if we werent waiting for his furniture that we received at our shower when I was 31 weeks. 


Baby shower photos:

My side of the family

 Kerry's side of the family

 It takes 3 women to raise one boy, lol. My sister, Jack's favorite (only) aunt.

 About to start the never ending gift opening process

 As I'm typing this... Jack has ALMOST grown out of this already.

Cake time!

My teacher friends. Miss them dearly, but don't miss the school. 


Maternity photos taken at 34 weeks:

Here is our email that we shared with our Bradley couples & a current update on my status.

Jack was due January 7th 2012 and decided to make his entrance into the world a little early. On Tuesday, December 20th at 1:37am my water broke. Please don't have "adult time" too close to your due date. :x Who knew there would be SOO much water?! We called our midwives and spoke about laboring at home. (As per our wishes) Around 7am I began to get nervous because not only was I not feeling any contractions but I wasn't feeling him move (even after orange juice and some cereal). We were told to head on in to L&D. We weren't frantic because the car and everything was ready and packed but we were in shock due to it being almost 3 weeks early! The week before Christmas is just crazy as it is. So we get to Morristown and get set up in a lovely room with a birthing tub around 9am. (An hour before that crazy small plane crash on Rt. 287 - glad we didn't get stuck in that traffic). One of the midwives came and met with me around 11am and explained that since my body is not in "labor" and it's been about 10 hours since my water broke - they would need to jump start it. My biggest fear was pitocin. :::sigh::: Well we started with cervadil at 11:30am. I was checked around 11pm (yes 12 hours later!) and was only 2cm! TWO! (The midwives and nurses were in and out throughout the day, along with family). So upsetting... They inserted another cervdil (ouch! - when you are NOT dilated, it sure hurts when they go up there) and explained that pitocin would be the next step - this boy was not budging. On Wednesday the 21st we started the dreadful pitocin around 11:30am and by 2pm - I opted for the epidural. The nurses would not let me move around due to needing the constant monitoring (this was extremely frustrating). They needed the constant monitoring because I was receiving IV meds for being +gbs. So since they stressed to me that I needed to stay still - there was no way I could manage those contractions. They were more painful than I had envisioned but with the ability to move around, I thought I could handle them. The epidural was SUPER scary - but really wasn't all that bad. The midwives let me labor for a few hours and the contractions became "very nice." I got to 6cm by 6pm. At 11pm I was still a 6 and Jack's head began to mold. It was then decided that a csection was needed. He needed to come out. At 1:46am Thursday, December 22nd my little boy entered the world with the most beautiful cry. The csection itself wasn't too bad - the aftermath is another story. I was so worried I would feel pain and the thought of surgery was horrific to me. But in reality it does feel like someone is playing tug-o-war with your intestines - and believe it or not, that felt better than one contraction. About 45 minutes after his birth I was in the recovery room where my wife wheeled our little boy into. Talk about feeling like you're on cloud 9! Wow.. Kerry told me he was sucking his fingers when they were assessing him and that he was hungry. He began to nurse immediately which was amazing. I just attached him to my breast and boom! he latched! We were wheeled to our Mom/Baby room and said bye to a few family members at 4am! We needed sleep, needless to say! 

My midwives still can't comprehend why my water broke and my body never went into labor on it's on. :x Shh - they didn't need to know the details. It is rare, not very rare, but rare enough for you not to be scared that this will happen to you. They were very kind for waiting 48 hours to take him out! (I hear that babies generally have 24 hours to come out after your water breaks). They really did try their best to get him out vaginally, but he wasn't having it.

I did end up getting very sick after birth and was in the hospital till December 27th. We spent my birthday (the 23rd), Christmas Eve, and Christmas in the hospital fighting (more like begging) with doctors to let us go home. I ended up needing a bone marrow aspiration and a PICC line (an IV that goes to my heart so I can receive IV meds at home) put in just to leave! Those two things were not at all fun. Turns out after all that drama I have a very rare blood disorder which drops my white blood cell count to a number that is dangerous (making me very susceptible to get sick)- but as long as I feel healthy it can go untreated and really isn't as big of a deal as the doctors were making it into. I also ended up with an e.coli infection in my blood (thus the IV meds) about 12 hours after my csection. The e.coli infection was cleared away within 24 hours but I needed to remain on the IV  antibiotics for 14 days! It was a tough strand of e.coli that is found in everyone bowels - cute right? UGH. After 14 days go by, I go back to the infectious disease doctor with hope of removing this uncomfortable picc line and received more discouraging news - he was keeping me on the meds and adding ONE MORE due to my csection incision opening up in two places. YES -- I know you're probably thinking "are you kidding me!" because that's all I could say (even the doctor couldn't believe it). My wife takes care of my incision twice a day and I've been seeing a plastic surgeon who debrides it and makes sure there is healthy skin growing. 

Although my birth story is rather crappy to say the least, I have such a wonderful baby. Jack eats likes a champ and was exclusively breastfed till he was about 7-8 weeks. He has a full head of hair (yes - I had HORRIBLE acid reflux) and brightens up our days. He generally is a good sleeper too! He has been a wonderful distraction to all my health issues in the previous weeks - and I'm very thankful for that!

Jack weighed in at 7.5lbs and 20.5 inches long. 

 I doubt there was ever a time in my life where I felt as emotional as I did at this very moment.

 Looking at this 3 months later still brings tears to my eyes.

How precious is this?! Not even 12 hours old here. 

As of today... Jack is 13 weeks old! Smiling away and sleeping 10-11 hours a night! I had my PICC line removed when he was 7 weeks old. They were a long 7 weeks.. but we made it! Kerry was able to stay home and nurse me back to health for 6 weeks. Then she started student teaching. When Jack was 8 weeks, she returned to work, doing 2 weekend overnights. When she graduates this May, she'll just be doing work, Tues.-Thurs. overnights. I plan to find a teaching job for this September. I still go to the Hematologist every 2 weeks to check my blood count and have been placed on Neupogen injections for the last 2 months. The injections stimulate my bone marrow to produce more white blood cells. The doctor says I should be done with the injections in about another 4 weeks (when my incision is completely healed). This brings me to that... the incision. It was really scary at one point listening to the wound center at the hospital say I may need surgery to close it. But this wonderful plastic surgeon assured me that it will close on it's own, and it has. Kerry uses an antibiotic and changes the gauze on it daily. Yesterday she told me that both holes are officially CLOSED! I have an appt with the plastic surgeon this upcoming Thursday. I should be done seeing him after this week. My tummy is still tender when pressed hard on. I'm sure it's just because I have a lot of fluff too heal. So, the light at the end of the tunnel is VERY much visible. 

I had numerous breakdowns and really rough days those first few weeks home, but without Kerry taking care of me and our newborn, I'm clueless as to what would have been done. I could not even lift myself out of bed to reach for the baby. She did everything for us. EVERYTHING. I simply fed and changed the baby. She was and is my rock. 

I'm overly ecstatic to say that I do feel physically great. I'm in no pain and can fully function as a new mommy. It's not always easy, but it has been the most amazing and eye-opening experience of my life thus far. 

 From birth - 3months

Seriously... What wouldn't you do for that smile?!

Now only if I can lose this post-pregnancy weight. :::sigh::: Let's save that for another post!

July 17, 2010 - The Day I Married My Best Friend

After 13 months of planning, our day was finally here. It was magical and surpassed all my dreams. I was the girl who dreamed of her wedding day since I was 5. I had imagined it a million times by the time this day finally came. And Kerry... being as amazing as she is, knew how every little detail was important to me. She, without a doubt, made it the best day of my life. All she wanted was a videographer and delicious food (which we had). All other details, she let me decide. Our colors were dark purple and silver. We had stars on the invitations, favors, drink stirrers, drink menu, thank you cards, dinner menu, the rock outside The Mansion, and etc! Everything was absolutely beautiful. It felt truly amazing walking down all the stairs in the back of Fairleigh Dickinson University's Mansion to marry the love of my life. When I walked down the aisle, she came and met me halfway. Right then and there I felt as if time stood still. She looked absolutely beautiful and I was instantly filled with tears. We had an incredible officiant who custom made our ceremony and had everyone laughing & crying. We shared our day with 110 of our closest family and friends. We had an awesome DJ and the dance floor NEVER looked empty. I surprised her with a 5 day stay in Disneyworld (our favorite place) during the reception. She thought we were going to Costa Rica for 17 days, but it was really only for 12 days. Oh and she let me choose Costa Rica because I have an undying LOVE for sloths. (We visited a sloth sanctuary while we were there!).

I couldn't be more thankful for my sister. Without her,  this extravagant day would have never came about.

I thought I'd share some of my favorite pictures, I thought I could just choose a few - well apparently not. :x

 I miss her so much <3 My Grandma

 Kerry and friends painted this

 At The Westin Govenor Morris 

 The Mansion ar FDU

 Cocktail hour pictures

 First Dance

 Delicious Cake!

 Last Dance

The Proposal

I'm finally going to write this story out.

It's been a few years now and I've shared it with just about anyone who has asked.

Feels great right now to relive the moment, even for just a bit.

June 19th 2009... It was a Friday and was field day during my second year of teaching. Kerry often came to help out in my classroom as working in Newark was not always easy. My 2nd graders loved her. That Friday was set out to be an awesome day regardless. 1. Who doesn't love field day? 2. The weather was absolutely perfect and 3. We had plans to get away for that night near Atlantic City. (Living with my mom and grandma for 3+ years was not easy!)

3:40pm came (dismissal time from hell) and we were TIRED yet ready for our drive down the shore. All I could focus on was a relaxing dinner somewhere delish and all Kerry could focus on was visiting "a beach" (not one in particular) because she wanted to collect some shells. This had been mentioned all day long. She has/had a thing for collecting shells. And I just thought it would be fun to walk on the beach - being that it was the 1st time that summer. However, by the time we drove down, I was too hungry to care about collecting shells. But little did I know! So... We get to Brigantine Beach near A.C. We both had never been there before (surprisingly, we also have never been back), we literally just went to the closet beach near our hotel - because food was vital to my crankiness. The beach was pretty much empty from what I recall. We go fairly close to the water and started picking up a few shells.

Kerry then says, "babe, did you see that big shell you just walked pass?" I turned around and saw a perfect huge shell. Needless to say, I was PUMPED. (I'm easy to please). I bent over, pick it up, and noticed it had a message written in it. I swung around to show Kerry in pure excitement because for the 5 seconds it took to pick it up and read I honestly believed it was washed up on the shore. (This seems to be a funny joke now). The second I turn around Kerry is standing right there with the ring box open asking me to marry her. Shocked was an understatement. Overwhelmed, overjoyed, ecstatic, on a cloud... and all of the above seem to fit how I was feeling. Of course I said yes! We went out to eat at some restaurant that I can't remember because I was too much in a daze. We had an amazing night away and surprisingly enjoyed every second of wedding planning!

Oh and if you're still wondering what was written in that shell...

Here are 2 pictures from our engagement shoot. 

The Joys of Organization

In my first post I briefly mentioned that I have a slight case of OCD. Well, let me explain... Growing up, my house was a disaster zone. Disgusting, unorganized, cluttered...and etc.! My mother constantly lost things like her shoes, purse, and keys. It made me NUTS! By the time I was in high school I started to become obsessed with cleaning and organizing my room. This included organizing my closet and drawers by colors and styles. I even organized my caboodle. Yes, I said caboodle. :) During college I lived in a dorm and made sure everything was perfect in my room. I straightened items on my one dresser and desk as often as need be. I can/could tell if things are even slightly moved. It makes me feel nutty. Honestly, it makes me feel like I may lose control. If one thing is moved or out of place then who's to say 10 other things won't follow. Catch what I'm saying?

Now I know I may sound crazy because Jack (and if we're so lucky, our future children) will definitely test my limits. I fully understand this. (I have been able to keep up just fine with all the cleanliness of our apartment so far.)

When it comes to organization I suppose cleanliness goes hand in hand with it. I enjoy a clean house. It makes my heart smile. Can vacuuming be listed as one of my favorite hobbies? I genuinely missed cleaning the floors while pregnant (I had to stop around 6.5 months because of sciatica and way too many aches). I enjoy making lists and obsessively cleaning out my emails and text messages. I get crazy when I see that Kerry's email has some ridiculous number of unread emails! C'mon, just delete them. I enjoy a nice clean desk and organized piles of work. I even like when things can have their own place inside my purse (which has now turned into a diaper bag). When I taught, this was challenge. It wasn't easy cleaning up after 7 and 8 year olds compulsively -  but I did it!

I like (or should I say love) symmetry and am a very "type A" kind of person (like you couldn't tell after reading this). Oh and I actually look forward to adding labels to everything Jack brings to school. :::Sigh::: I LOVE labels.

With all this said... let me know if you ever need help cleaning/organizing your closet(s). You can hang with Jack (because he does go with me everywhere) and I'll get to work. I also think I have a good eye for room layouts and picture walls.

Future Blogs

I'm going to attempt to organize my thoughts.

Here's a list of what I'd like to blog about.

• How organization makes me smile
• Our proposal story 
• Our Wedding Day
• What I love about teaching
• What I hate about teaching
• My religious views
• My 37.5 weeks of pregnancy
• Jack's Birth Story
• A story about my weight issues
• How I love everything about babywearing (yet am still so new to it)
• Being scared about Jack starting solids 
• Random things that make me happy
• A review of baby products

As you can see some of them are more serious than others. They were listed in no particular order. I really am an open book and not too much of my life is "private." I'm super opinionated and don't ever intend to offend anyone - but my thoughts aren't always sugar-coated.

First Blog Post - EVER.

Preface: This can be a challenge because I tend to ramble - especially when typing. I sorta like to include a little bit of everything and often tend to go off tangents. Another problem of mine, I love to use parenthesis (just like this)! Also, I'm aware that I don't always use them correctly (half the time) and I'm a teacher - boohoo to that. I'll try to watch my grammar. I've also been out of the classroom for two years - so that should cut me some slack.

About me, us, him, and them:

Me: Born December 23rd 1984 - raised in Elizabeth, NJ (not too proud of that). Attended public school and went to dance school like it was my job (love love love tap). Graduated from Fairleigh Dickinson University in 07 with a Bachelors in Psyc and then again in 09 with a Masters in Education. Currently finishing up my certification in Special Education at Kean University (so not loving this school!). I student taught 1st grade at my own elementary school and loved it! Then I taught 2nd grade for two years and 3rd grade for one year in Newark and HATED it. I did however make amazing lifelong friends. I've been out of work since June 2010 and did lots of babysitting up until I was 2 months pregnant. Then I did a lot less babysitting until I was 8 months pregnant. Speaking of pregnancy, that happened in April 2011.

If you're friends with me on Facebook - here is our baby journey story. If you're not friends with me, then add me.

I'm sarcastic (a little), silly, blunt, stubborn, strong-willed, and a little OCD in regards to organization. I love my crazy family and my son is the best birthday gift EVER!

Us: I met my wife Kerry in July of 2007. Here's the truth, so now everyone will know - we met on craigslist - before the killer. Yep it's true. We became inseparable August 20th 2007 and got engaged June 19th, 2009. It was truly a surprise and the best one to date! She is my other half, my rock, and my world. We had an amazing wedding on July 17, 2010 and it was one of the best days of my life. We moved to Garwood (near Cranford & Westfield) in February 2011 and love it here! We definitely want to live around here for a LONG time. We would love to send our child(ren) to Cranford Public Schools. Kerry is the only person in the world that doesn't mind putting up with me on a daily basis. I'm not always the easiest person to deal with and my stubbornness can get the best of me. I love her for everything she is, was, and will be. I can not imagine my life without her. She is the hardest worker I know. She is also the most amazing mother I've ever watched. She is friendly, caring, organized, and every good trait out there. I pretty much LUCKED OUT. It's been about 4.5 years now and we still plan all of our time off together and are still inseparable - literally. I LOVE spending every second together. Our Wedding Day

Him: Our son, Jack Maxwell Smith, born December 22, 2011 at 1:46am at Morristown Medical Hospital via emergency cesarean section. Weighing in at 7 pounds 5 ounces and 20.5 inches long. An absolute piece of perfection in this crazy chaotic world. The most precious human I've ever laid eyes on. There are no words that can express how one feels when they see their own child for the 1st time. It's breathtaking and overwhelming. It's a very different kind of love - like nothing I've ever felt before. During my pregnancy I could have never imagined feeling the way I do now. He is loved like crazy. He is the first grandchild on both sides of the family and the first baby in our families since the early 2000's. He's been here 3 months now and it still feels SO new. I can't believe he lived in me for 9 months! My birth story was horrible and something I'll save for a separate blog, but my pregnancy was great (normal aches and ailements). I am so so so grateful for him, he is favorite little person in the world! And if you're bored and enjoy pictures then HERE HE IS!

Them: The dogs. Zoey is an 8 year old (not so) girly pit/boxer. Hershey is a 7 year old (not so) male dachshund. He likes to roll around in glitter and she likes to act boyish. Eh, what can you do? They make us nutty now that the baby is here and we have no backyard - but in time, we'll get used to them again. They sleep ALL day and just want to lick Jack's face off. They are adorable!

Well that's it for now.